I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
