you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
