seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
