you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
