Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My liver just broke up with me...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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