He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
