im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
