Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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