in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
