And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We had sex on a dog bed..
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
