CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Randomize
