I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
