I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
