I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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