FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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