He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
