as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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