Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
