I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
