so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
