Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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