Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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