five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
