I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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