He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
