I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
