How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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