we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
