You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize