i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
