??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
