The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
