I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
