You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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