Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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