There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
