Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
