"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
