Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize