so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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