So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
