I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
