Redeem this text for a blowjob
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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