So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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