i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
