you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
