So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
