We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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