I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
