so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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