Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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