UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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