so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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