Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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