my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dignity is for republicans.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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