did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize