how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
