Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
