You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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