So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
