apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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