What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
